Hank Steinbrenner Can Get Fucked

Is it too late for me to change the name of this blog to Fire Hank Steinbrenner? No? Well, I’m not going to, but it was a nice thought.

What a fucking asshole. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly hate the Yankees more than I already do, here’s Hanky-poo to the rescue.

Steinbrenner also said baseball’s revenue sharing and luxury tax programs need changes, and that Commissioner Bud Selig is open to the idea.

Steinbrenner said he doesn’t know what the final figure is, but expects the Yankees’ 2010 payments for the two to total about $130 million.

That’s right, because if we can identify just one single problem with American sports, it’s that the Yankees don’t make enough money.

“At some point, if you don’t want to worry about teams in minor markets, don’t put teams in minor markets, or don’t leave teams in minor markets if they’re truly minor,” Steinbrenner said. “Socialism, communism, whatever you want to call it, is never the answer.”

Holy fucking shit, does reality need to punch you in the face. You. Hank Steinbrenner. What the fuck did you ever do to own the Yankees? You’ve been George Steinbrenner’s son for a living for your whole life. Then he finally fucked off after like 150 years of raping the game of baseball and left the team to you and your brother.

Which means, of course, that it’s time for you to start bitching that the fucking $1.6 billion world-famous mega-brand baseball team in New York City that you inherited without doing a single fucking thing to earn it has to redistribute some of its earnings to other teams that don’t print money, you self-righteous piece of shit. Handouts are okay when they’re daddy handing down his baseball team to you, but not okay when you share some of the fucking wealth with other teams — you know, the ones you have to fucking play to make the fucking money, you enormous pile of pinstriped shit.

You literally spent your entire adulthood before owning the Yankees breeding your dad’s fucking horses, and you’re going to even bring up the words “socialism” and “communism” here? Really? That takes a lot of nerve, but then again, I guess there’s room to spare in your fat ass.

By the way, socialism and communism are not the same fucking thing, you fucking Godfather wannabe, and Major League Baseball is a fucking corporation, not a country, so that shit is not even relevant. If you want the Yankees to make more profit and if you want revenue sharing to be less necessary, try not handing out $200 million contracts left and right so that smaller-market teams can actually compete. Are you really, seriously saying that only teams that can afford $200 million contracts should exist in Major League Baseball? You are by far the dumbest motherfucker I can think of among sports owners except for Dan Gilbert. And when your name so much as appears in the same sentence with Dan Gilbert, you know you’re in a dark place in life.